Destination Unclear

Do you ever wake up in the morning and just wonder - where the heck am I and how the hell did I get here?

I have many blessings in my life. I have the most loving, beautiful, creative and fun toddler in the world. I have free day care via my mother-in-law. I have a job that pays me enough to put food on our table and gas in my car.

I am pregnant with our second child.

And yet? I still wake up every morning wondering how I got here and where I am going.

The profession that I am in - Human Resources, specifically, recruiting, was not something that I would have picked off a list for things I would love to do. I fell into it: talking to people and making judgement calls and analyzing potentials are all things I can do fairly readily.

But I went to school for writing. I went to school for philosophy. My secret hopes professionally were to become either a counselor of some sort or a writer...

but I never knew what to write, and I am wired as the penultimate of emotional females - a typification which, from my view from the other side of the couch, is likely not exactly a class proven effective in a counseling arena.

What am I good at?

I am a pretty good mom.
I can analyze the heck out of people.
I can occasionally make a good joke.
I am an effective communicator with anyone not in my family of origin.
I am intuitive.
I can usually spot a liar at 100 paces.

Where does this lead me?

Nowhere that I can imagine. I would go to grad school if I knew what I wanted to be; I could set goals if I knew what they were. I would be ecstatic if I even knew what general direction I wanted to head.

Instead, I am here. Pregnant. Married. Employed. Not really designed to be a corporate girl or a ladder-climber, but unsure what in the world God intended me to do when he put me on this earth, and thus far my requests have netted silence.

::birds chirping::

See?