Family gratitude

I don't write much anymore.  I don't have much of an excuse except that I usually only have one hand available at a time these days and function at lesser degrees of consciousness a la raising babies: I am frankly afraid my ability to articulate anything well is gone. 

But at 3:09am on July 31, I am both conscious and thoughtful and wanted to jot down a few things.

I am grateful.  I am not always so; frequently I am overwhelmed by the challenges of the day, obsessed with what I am not or frustrated with who I am - but in this moment thankfulness for my lot in life resonates.

I have an amazing daughter - so much so that I worry I will burst of the wonder of her at only the age of 2 and fear the implications of being given such a wonderful gift.  I rejoice in seeing the world anew through her eyes. 

I have a newborn son.  All of 7 weeks old he doesn't do much but exist and be cute; I look daily to see what new changes I might see even as I wonder how life with a boy child is going to change my life.  He is still very new to me but I can't get enough of his smell and soft skin.

My sisters are crazy and maddening but they are mine and I wouldn't trade them for anything; I am comforted and strengthened by them both.  I am lucky enough to still have my mom and dad both, a huge and loving extended family, and a husband who has become my rock in many ways.

At this moment it isn't about the impossible or fear or angst.  In this moment, I just sit here and appreciate being me...and understand how I am not just me but a"lso them.  I am a part of something very special and it is enough. 

I am enough.